I wanted you to know, the more I speak with you, the more time we spend together, the more you make me laugh and comfort me, the more I dream of the full course meal. Not that I’m at all ready for dessert, or will be any time soon, but I am really enjoying our times together.
Yesterday, I awoke from a dream of you. The dream was not complicated, it was brief, but in it, we woke together, as if we had done so for years. It was very comfortable, right. Comforting. Friendly. It felt wonderful, and made me smile, even though I woke alone. I haven’t felt that way in years.
I’ll admit, before falling asleep, I was so happy to know you, to be becoming friends with you, I had trouble putting you out of my mind… and that might be why I dreamed of you right before waking the next morning, but in all honesty I have to admit that I do not really think it was just a dream.
I do try to keep people out of my head, so I don’t invade their sleep, but we are so much on the same wavelength that it’s difficult to do so with you.
I told you, the first time I saw you was in my black mirror. When I saw you, I saw you in me, and me in you – the image flickered between our faces, as if we were one head with two faces that were almost the same. Sometimes I could not tell the difference between the faces as we morphed back and forth.
I do not love you yet, but the vision and the dream suggest to me that I will.
However, a dream does not mean you and I don’t or won’t have other loves. We do. I have many old friends whom I love deeply, who love me in return – and sometimes I regret leaving them so far away, because I must now love them from such a distance – and each of them is a flower in my heart, my loves a many-petaled bouquet, and I the vase.
You have spoken to me of your other loves, those people you consider to be your best friends. I have two best friends here, and many best friends who live far away – some are flirty friends, like some of yours.
I feel compelled to say to you that, if we were ever to become something to each other, beyond friendship, I promise… I will never ask you to give them up. I will make them my friends, too. I hope that my friends become yours, as well.
Life is a road of discoveries – I am walking the beginning of one with you. What it will become, I do not know, but I do know that I am enjoying our friendship, now, and that you are helping me overcome some of my wounded reactions.
Thank you for being you.