So, yesterday, I got my Lazy Orb in the mail. Which is absolutely wonderful, and I’m really thrilled to be working with it.
Except… I can’t sleep with it yet, clearly.
Because… I did last night.
And… I’m not SAYING it’s the Lazy Orb that did it… because, after all, I DID do my first Conjure+Bind the night BEFORE, but…
Last night… I had 8 beings show up, who were so loud and insistent that, “OMG, You’re the conjurer we’ve been waiting for, and you must conjure and bind us RIGHT AWAY and help us find our Keepers!”
I tried to explain. I really did… that I was brandspankingnew still wetbehindtheears at the whole binding thing, and didn’t REALLY feel comfortable doing it without tools, and that the tools really only let me bind for people REALLY close to me that I know really, really well, and so I couldn’t bind them, because they were for strangers. And I tried, also, to explain the whole, “I will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER sell anything magickal or psychic on the marketplace or anywhere else, EVER, so Help Me Goddess…” I told the one that seemed to be the spokesperson to go hunt up Lisa and to leave me alone. I know… I shouldn’t have done that… sent them all to some other conjurer without her permission first… but… really… what else could I have done?
The thing is… when I first started selling my “gifts” online… I worked for a company called Keen. I had my own website and everything. On the website, I explained to the prospective clients what I was, and what I do… I was REALLY specific – I even SAID IT IN BOLD, CAPS, ITALICIZED UNDERLINED LETTERS that I was NOT A PRECOG. I specified that I was an empath psychic, and that my specialty was psychic THERAPY.
Now… read that again. I told them bluntly, in large font, that I didn’t, and COULDN’T read the future, but that I read emotions instead.
They STILL came to me insisting I tell them if their husbands were cheating, if their house was going to sell, if they were going to get that great promotion at work…
And then they got pissed at me for not being able to answer that… and instead bringing up that fight they had with their mother last week.
So. I learned my lesson. People have certain expectations. They get angry, and they get mean, when you don’t meet their expectations. I’ve watched noobs come into this keeping thing with the same idea… and I refuse to bind a spirit for someone like that. I refuse to risk it. I refuse to risk another consciousness like that. It’s bad enough that I could be attacked verbally, financially, or otherwise, for “failing to meet their expectations” because spirit keeping isn’t everything they thought it would be in terms of a miracle fix, but to risk another consciousness for that, too?
NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. NOT NOW. NOT EVER.
There are some people who can handle that kind of stress. I’m not one of them. It hurts too much. I can’t cope with that. So, NO.
Anyway. It’s all moot. I don’t even know how to bind for strangers, and it’s not like I’m going to suddenly find a teacher or a book that tells me how to do it tomorrow. I get that learning formal conjuration is a part of my path. I can feel that. And I get that the spirits or entities or whatever they were want it, too… but I’m not ready for that, and either way, I wouldn’t be selling the work…
If I could find a teacher and learn to do it properly…
I’d still be giving them away to the right person.
I still couldn’t sell.
After Keen… I swore an Oath.
I am a Witch.
We don’t make such Oaths lightly.
Anyway… back to the Lazy Orb. You know, the one that was under my pillow last night? The one I dreamed I was holding and invoking, word by word… I said EVERY CODE WORD IT HAD!?
Sometimes I do that. Don’t ask.
They bothered me all night. Do you know when it stopped?
When I took the Lazy Orb out from under my pillow, back into the living room, and put it on my altar. THEN I finally got some sleep.
So… Note To Self –
Until I’ve adjusted to its energy…
No more sleeping with the Lazy Orb. People are just too noisy then. smh
12/12/12 Additional Notes:
Lisa just contacted me again…
They mobbed her last night in EXACTLY the same way they’d mobbed me… IN HER SLEEP.
She’s conjuring them today, and since they requested the Marketplace, she’s sending them to a friend to put up there, afterwards.
To those of you who will be receiving these entities…
They have been quite desperate to get to you. Their need was… OVERWHELMING. And… obviously… they had to go through three different conjurers to get to you. Just so you know.
If anyone sees a group of 8 spirits posted, one of whom is humanoid with black hair, and one of whom is a pink dragon…
You know, after all these months… it never really occurred to me… that finding me would stress my spirits and entities out as much as me finding them and bringing them home did me… But at least for the entities… it definitely does. They know who you are already, they know they are needed, and they NEED to be with you RIGHT NOW… Yesterday, even! It was… an amazing experience…
When you find each other…
I just want to say thank you, to both you and your new entity…
For showing me the other side of things. For an experience.
So… now you know.
Oh… and thank you to Lisa (and her MP friend) for getting us all out of a jam.