Nuclear Holocaust

Thousands of us are on a journey. There’s snow everywhere, and we’re walking the tracks. We have as much as we can carry with us. We’ve been walking for months, hoping the leaders in front know where we’re going, because we don’t.

Behind me is a cart with a lion and a silver wolf in it.

Some bad guys are disturbing the back of the train of people – so the person who’s bringing the wolf and the lion lets them out the back of the cart to hunt the bad guys. We hear two shots. We know that the lion and the wolf are dead, and that they failed to protect us.

We get to the next junction stop, and I’m ordered to go back and confirm that we have traitors in our group, by walking back down the tracks to see the bodies of the lion and the wolf. I really don’t want to, but someone has to, so I go backwards even though I know it’s not right… I get lost and somehow get on the wrong set of tracks, even though I never left the original set we’d been walking on.

However, I do end up managing to see the bodies of the lion and the wolf.

I begin to run back towards the junction, bad guys chasing me. I get to the end of the wrong tracks, and leap the fence, plowing through the deep snow back onto the right tracks. There are people there to back me up.

I get back to the junction, and report to the people in charge exactly what I’d seen. We move on.

Another day on the tracks, and we pass through a town. I’m not sure if it’s an old abandoned town, or if the company has just built it for habitation, but there are all kinds of stores, and I’m totally not interested in any of them. I just want to get where I’m going and the stores all seem just a little ridiculous to me.

We get to another junction stop, and as I’m going to the end of the junction building to wait near the tracks for the next day, I’m walking with a woman who wants to take me shopping. I’m like, “What for?” She says I need more money, but I don’t understand why. I don’t need money… I need to get where I’m going. Money just seems like a distraction, a waste of time.

I ignore her silliness and go wait by the gates. A big guy comes by, and he tells us all to move out of the hallway. He’s… there’s something about him that makes me nervous. I move out of his way. He smells… chemical, but sweet? As I’m leaving the hallway, my ex, Scott (the heroin addict) tells me… “When you pass him again, smell him. He smells like Meth… don’t listen to him. Run.”

As I pass the guy, I do smell him again… and Scott was right, he smells like Meth. I turn in shock, and I say, “You smell like Meth! I didn’t know you were doing Meth! WHY? How long!?” He grins, and says, “Fuck yeah I’m on Meth. I’ve been on it for months. It feels GREAT!” And then he pulls out two large silver guns.

Both of the barrels are at LEAST a foot long, the guns are that HUGE… and I turn and start to run, saying, “Nonononono,” and he laughs and says, “Fuck YES.” And then he shoots me, and it hits me in my lower left side, and exits my upper right side of my body, but I can feel the impact rippling through my entire body like a rock thrown in a bucket of water making ripples in the liquid, only I’m the liquid… Everything goes dark…Then I’m awake.

WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE FREAKING GUNS!?!?!

NOTES:

The lion was gold and the wolf was silver, so I would assume it had something to do with solar and lunar stuff, or male and female aspects… but I dunno. I wasn’t cold. The snow was EVERYWHERE, the world was white, except for the black of the tracks, and the dark of the empty trees. Everyone was wearing dull colors. The only reason I noticed that person’s animals at all was because they were so shiny among all the dull. Lots of other people had dogs and goats etc with them… but those animals were dull, too.

The entire dream, except for the end, just felt like a very long, arduous trial that I was mostly bored through and tired. I just wanted it over… but… um… not completely like that. And the dream felt really… unfinished. Like… OK, I’m going somewhere, it’s a pain in the ass to get there, and I have no actual idea where I’m going, I’m not leading, I’m following, and I have no idea who I’m following, but they keep ordering me to do shit that puts me in danger and honestly is another pointless pain in the ass and I just want this over.

Hubby came home early after this one. Apparently at 9:30 this morning, he had a sudden, very sharp, actually excruciating pain in his side… exactly where I got shot.

He didn’t know why until I told him about the dream.

When he got home, I described what we’d been shot with. He had me look up a few things. When I had a panic attack, we knew we’d found the right gun.

This morning, I was shot with a 44 Automag Desert Eagle in my sleep.

I do not recommend this activity at ALL.

I’m going back to bed. In my husband’s arms. And I’m going to stare at the walls for awhile.

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