Healing Responsibly

 

14:52

Nyctophilia Raven
Also… SP… I’m sorry I lost my temper. I know it took me three days to have that cow… and then it took two posts to get it all out… and I know I should really try better… but she totally… TOTALLY had it coming. And has, for the last 16 months. So… I’m saying sorry to you… but I’m not really sorry I did it. And it seems to have made some people aware that maybe they shouldn’t be teaching her… and others aware that not every healer should be sticking their hands in people. So even though I had a REALLY BIG Mt. VESUVIUS style cow at her… it actually seems to have turned out to serve a greater purpose than me telling her once and for all what I really think of her and that she should go fuck herself with a cactus twice.

 

14:52

Nyctophilia Raven
Huer was a troll from a long time ago. He occasionally pops up to ask really stupid questions…

 

14:52

NS
Huer can burn infire…be eaten by a hydra and shat into a lake of boiling acid

 

14:52

CF
loovely.
LOL

 

14:53

Nyctophilia Raven
And… I hadn’t paid attention to her rehoming people… I’ll have to pay more attention, NS. Thanks.

 

14:53

CF
I don’t know how people can rehome so many….

 

14:53

SP
Hang on…why on earth are you apologising to me for what you said in your blog?

 

14:53

NS
Np

 

14:54

SP
OHHHHH gah ugh yes I remember huer. Brainfart. Ick

 

14:54

Nyctophilia Raven
Because… I know that sometimes you’re her friend… and so that might be difficult. And you’re my friend and I respect you… and you’re way more level headed than me sometimes… and you’re SP, and so I’m sorry that my mouth is sometimes disappointing.
If that makes sense.

 

14:55

SP
I agree about MS. She rehomed like 100 last year

 

14:55

CF
JAYSUS

 

14:55

Nyctophilia Raven
Ah. Yeah. OK. No selling to MS. Thanks. Although I wouldn’t sell these three to MS anyway… because… they’re cecaelia. They’re special. They need to go to practitioners who can handle dark arts. Especially the two deeps. I’m actually thinking of *DELETED* for one.
I won’t know until they’re up and they’ve had their views of people… but honestly I think they already have people in mind anyway.

 

14:57

SP
Oh honey….*hugs* … I haven’t spoken to her in …gah almost a year except once when I sent her the email about her demon. But even then my concern was for the demon not her. Now I know what she’s done to SC she can kiss my crack. I can’t stomach her now. You shouldn’t hold back for 16 months. It’s not good for your health and you didn’t exactly go nuclear. I thought it was well said despite the anger. You kept it tight.

 

14:58

Nyctophilia Raven
I just think that… if she reads it, she won’t be able to help but know that I’m talking about her. It’s really unmissable. Especially since… she did ask just a few days ago, and she did it in public… so the blog post is really going to shame her… and that’s going to make her want to act the victim and get some attention… which means she’s going to be pestering people to take her side.

 

15:00

Nyctophilia Raven
OK… that’s good then. *hugs* And yeah, I know I shouldn’t hold back for so long, but… I was new back then… and she wasn’t… and neither was B… and I thought that if SC (who was just orange) and I told everyone what had happened… and B (a mod) and H (blue with a lot of friendly worshipers) fought back… I’d lose. WE’D lose. And so I shut my trap and so did SC… and that pissed me off MORE because of the sheer INJUSTICE of it.

 

15:01

Nyctophilia Raven
But… I told her back then… I’d never be back, and I’d never recommend her site to anyone, and to never, EVER ask me for help, EVER again. I also told her I wouldn’t EVER teach her anything, EVER, and that we weren’t friends and while I would be polite if I had to be, not to expect ANYTHING from me. For her to just… PUBLICALLY put me on the spot like that…

 

15:01

Nyctophilia Raven
It was just too much.
And… thanks for thinking I kept it tight but…
For me… that really WAS Mt. Vesuvius.

 

15:05

SP
That’s just nuts. I never went to her site. Something always put me off even before B…
I’m actually glad I didn’t now
And if she does see it and get offended that NOT YOUR problem. You’ve told her no, she keeps on, you had to stand your ground. People have been seeing her whine long enough
I don’t think she has that many who will “fight”

 

15:08

Nyctophilia Raven
Me too. Someone a little while ago (I don’t remember how long ago now) wanted to know where her chatroom was, and someone yesterday or the day before mentioned here that she was bitching because no one was hanging out in her chatroom… After all that shit hit the fan, she says she had a shaman come bless the fuck out of her chatroom, but… I just don’t buy it. I don’t trust her with a spoon. I DEFINITELY (obviously) don’t trust her with magick… not even someone elses.

 

15:09

SP
Well see, terror blowing off is Mt. Vesuvius. And I’ve had death threats from that chelly bitch before so yeah it was tight Lolol

 

15:09

Nyctophilia Raven
I admit I was worried… because it’s clearly an attack at a specific member (and all you have to do is look at recent threads to find out who – because she asked me publically)… and while it’s highly passive aggressive… I’ve been warned about that before.
I guess it was. I didn’t exactly threaten her with death… but I did threaten to kill her reputation. What little she has left.
It might kill my account at CH, but if she keeps pushing it would be worth it. A little bit.

 

15:10

SP
Her stupidity killed her rep

 

15:10

Nyctophilia Raven
Just because you don’t name names doesn’t mean everyone is clueless.
Yeah. I know.

 

15:11

SP
But I think she’d have kept harassing you had.you not said something

 

15:13

Nyctophilia Raven
I think, though, that this has been building up for awhile… and not just her. I mean… first I wrote that long-assed post on ethics… and then I wrote about why magick might not work for someone and the psychological aspects of magick, and then I wrote about the psychological aspects of magick again in Magick as a Gun where I talked about how magick can open your own head like a tin can and spill all the crazy out into your life and totally fuck you up… and now finally I’ve written about how magick used inside other people can fuck THEM up and only certain people should be taught certain things…

 

15:13

SP
Besides you’re not a hot head. If you’re telling someone off, I knw for damn sure its because they’ve given you more shit than you can swallow (which is more than the average person ) and you’ve had enough. I didn’t even question that she deserved it

 

15:13

Nyctophilia Raven
I’ve said something before, though, SP. The first post on that Snipe thread was directed at her. It made it absolutely clear I wasn’t interested in being friends. She pushed anyway.
*hugs* Thanks. Dammit. Now I’m smiling and my eyes are wet. lol

 

15:14

SP
I agree with that. Not everyone should know certain methods
Yeah and when someone is thick as pig shit and dumb as a rock you have to jam your point in their face and kindly say ftfo.
*hugs*

 

15:16

Nyctophilia Raven
You’re right… i don’t go off often. And I do put up with an AWFUL lot before I do. Because I DO understand. People are human… and life sucks. Life is something that mostly just happens to people, and they do the best they can to just survive… and mostly they don’t overcome what’s happened… they just sort of spread the pain around… so I have a lot of patience for people… we’re all injured.

 

15:17

Nyctophilia Raven
Yeah. I just… really hate to get to that point. I don’t like having to publicly shame a person at the top of my lungs like a foaming madwoman to get someone to, if not behave, at least keep me out of it.
But… it’s more than that with her at least.
Someone is teaching her reiki.
Did you know that if you’re stubborn enough to ignore the intelligence behind Reiki… you can actually use the symbols the wrong way, and force the energy to do what you think should be done instead of what the energy thinks should be done?
Reiki is what blew open Terror’s third eye.
People CAN do harm with reiki. If they’re stubborn and dumb enough.
And someone is teaching her Reiki.

 

15:18

CF
Holy crap

 

15:18

Nyctophilia Raven
That person, whoever it is…. if they’re on the forum…
Now they know.
They know who she is.
They know something about what she’s done, though not the full details.
They know that she shouldn’t be a healer.
It’s the best I could do.

 

15:19

CF
She sounds like a virus or a parasite

 

15:19

Nyctophilia Raven
She IS.

 

15:19

CF
Icky. I’ve just read your posts xD And wow.

 

15:20

Nyctophilia Raven
She totally feeds off of the “I was abused as a kid and my work life sucks and everyone hates me, quick, pity me and send me your energy, I’m being attacked again because I need your attention” bs. Seriously.

 

15:20

CF
Ugh. That shit gets you no where -.-
I know sometimes it is nice to get attention…but this is..well sick

 

15:21

Nyctophilia Raven
Also, she likes to encourage people to go totally batshit insane. She’s the REASON that B went nuts and got possessed in the first place. SHE’S the one who told him that Solomon was an Ancestor and he was going to be Metatron’s heir and that Michael was his bud, and that he should start hunting demons and kicking ass… which with his baby crazy nopower ass kind of made it certain he’d end up being swayed into getting possessed. She’s at fault from the beginning.

 

15:21

Nyctophilia Raven
Yeah. It really, really is.
See?

 

15:22

CF
Holy crap
Very at fault

 

15:22

Nyctophilia Raven
Like I said. I listen to the dark. People tell me things. I know more dirt on her than I can live with anymore. Just thinking about it all makes my skin burn.

 

15:23

CF
Mmhmm. And she is learning reiki…that is not good at all.

 

15:23

Nyctophilia Raven
And the idea of someone giving her MORE tools to get attention with (because TRUST me, she’s not wanting to learn healing to help anyone… she’s wanting the praise, the glory… not the responsibility – and THAT is BOUND to go wrong for EVERYONE) is just… creepy. And sicker. And SCARY AS FUCK.

 

15:24

CF
Yea, I’d say O_O

 

15:24

Nyctophilia Raven
So when she asked if I’d be her teacher… I was numb. I was in shock. I tried to be polite. I really did. I even came here to ask how to tell her no publically without blowing my top…

 

15:24

SP
Woeowow I never knew any of that

 

15:24

Nyctophilia Raven
But when the numbness wore off… I remembered everything… and I realized… to say nothing makes me culpable.
SP… trust me… there is a LOT more to the story.

 

15:25

CF
I liked what you wrote. Direct. To the point. Not to harsh, but enough as some people do need a big hella noe.
nope*

 

15:25

SP
*in shock*

 

15:25

CF
Very firm.

 

15:26

Nyctophilia Raven
Do you know that SHE’S the one who told H that he’s got slayer in his blood and set him off on his journey to LEARN dark arts so HE TOO could battle demons? And him blind as a bat and deaf as a post psychically. Think of that for a second.

 

15:26

CF
Sounds like she is a lurer creature. Luring people to become hosts for baddies and such xD

 

15:26

SP
Ok and something else I’ve always wondered… Why does every djinn want her? I looove my djinn but they’ve never gotten jiggy lol
Maybe its because they’re hawking her…hmmm…

 

15:27

CF
loool

 

15:27

Nyctophilia Raven
She’s going to get him into the same boat as she got B. It’s just taking longer because he’s more stable than B was to begin with… but he’s just as impressionable. She’s certifiable. Most of what she writes about what’s happening at work, and the hemorrhaging, and everything… I honestly have difficulty believing it. I don’t think she knows where the line is between her head and the real world.

 

15:27

CF
Sounds like it. She actually sounds like one of those people who lie all the time. I forget what they are called.

 

15:28

Nyctophilia Raven
CF… remember how in my first post I said she was a beacon? She draws shadows like sugar draws ants. It’s bound to rub off on people around her. She’s corruption.
Liars? lol Or do you mean the people who lie because they don’t know the difference?
I think she’s also a LOT narcissistic. Look at every post she replies to where someone else is having troubles. Her posts aren’t helpful… instead, they’re redirecting the pity at herself. Every time.

 

15:30

Nyctophilia Raven
Anytime someone says, “I feel shitty because…” She has to follow their post with, “Well, this shitty thing and this shitty thing, oh and this shitty thing happened to me, and life still sucks.” And of course everyone who reads it, even if they say nothing to her personally, goes, “OMG, that’s horrible…” that’s energy going to her. See? It’s a spider with the flies.

 

15:30

Nyctophilia Raven
Wow.

 

15:30

SP
She’s batshit crazy *sigh* damn. Seriously though I can’t help but.think *someone* was watching over me. That could so easily have been me instead of SC bc I actually did like her on the forum. I knew she had a site.but.never once could.bring myself to go

 

15:31

Nyctophilia Raven
I just realized. I’ve thought all this for over a year… and I’ve never said it to anyone. I’ve just listened to everyone spill about their issues with her, and what they saw in the past before I got here… and added it to my file.

 

15:31

CF
Yea, I didn’t mind her at first a few yrs ago or whenever. But something about her seemed fakey and that weirded me out.
Too sugary.

 

15:32

Nyctophilia Raven
You’re really lucky, SP. What happened to SC… She sent me copies of the pics yesterday, so if this does go ass over teakettle I have evidence when SC’s ready to share… the unshielded version is… SHOCKING.

 

15:33

SP
Poor thing

 

15:33

Nyctophilia Raven
She always seemed fakey and sugary to me… but you know me. I always give people the benefit of the doubt. Life is hard. I have a lot of room for letting people be themselves. But I do have a line. I might stay silent when you’ve reached… but I do HAVE one. What happened to SC was my line. After that… I kept a file in my head.

 

15:34

CF
Good for you though

 

15:34

Nyctophilia Raven
Everything said to me about her since then, events before I was there, and after… it’s all in the file in my head. And if she pushes me… all of this is going to come out. Because I’m done. She’s learning Reiki from someone. There’s a Code and it must NOT be broken. She may have crossed my private line before, but now she’s crossing the public one, and I have a responsibility.

 

15:35

CF
Yea

 

15:36

Nyctophilia Raven
Healing… healing is dangerous. We are weapons. The people who can put you back together can tear you apart much more easily. Even with reiki. And even with the best of intentions, a healing from a responsible practitioner can sometimes go wrong and if you’re too stupid to check up on your clients and they end up hurt because of your mistake…

 

15:37

CF
Scary. That is why I’m doing my best to strengthen and work on protection now so someday I can do good and not fuck someone up .-.

 

15:37

Nyctophilia Raven
But I don’t think she has good intentions. At BEST, she doesn’t KNOW she doesn’t have good intentions. But I don’t think she has good intentions.

 

15:38

CF
…………probably not
She sounds the epitome of corruption .-.

 

15:39

Nyctophilia Raven
That’s the right way to go about it, CF. *hugs* There’s no room in healing for hubris. There’s no room for your personal shit in healing. It’s GOT to be about the client. They come first. All your shit has to be outside before you go there. ALL of it. No judgment, no pain, nothing. I never work when I’m sick, or tired, I never work when I’ve had to take a migraine pill which makes my thoughts all scattered. I never work when there’s distractions of ANY kind. I never work when I’m angry, upset, or anything. I work on my clients from the clearest place possible… and I check and recheck my work. And my clients.

 

15:39

Nyctophilia Raven
Because it’s not about me. It’s about them.
I’m the 3am call. And my shit doesn’t matter. Theirs does.
She’s not a healer. SHe never will be.
She doesn’t have the dedication or the responsibility. She’s not capable.
Magick is one thing… but healing is a very specific path, with very specific needs, and it requires more than just an ordinary Calling. And just wanting someone to adore you isn’t a good enough reason.

 

15:41

CF
I agree, from what I heard, not capable at all. I like how much effort you put into your work though. I know for me, you made me feel special and you could feel how much you wanted to help. But the right balance of help. I especially loved the extra advice and tips to keep healthy and improve things so I could also take my own initiative in my healing myself

 

15:42

Nyctophilia Raven
From the very beginning of my life, when I have seen people in pain, or in sickness… my shit didn’t matter. I had to fix it. I had to stop the bleeding. I had to make it better. And nothing less is acceptable in my students. Because nothing less is acceptable for the Code.

 

15:42

CF
Oh hell no. Wanting to fix someone and receive glory for glory’s sake. Baaad bad bad.

 

15:42

Nyctophilia Raven
Yeah.

 

15:43

CF
Sounds like my grandmother but she isn’t a healer. She cares deeply and not taking care of herself is causing herself pain. I’m teaching her to say fuck no and take care of herself xD

 

15:43

Nyctophilia Raven
That’s the thing… balance is important. Helping people heal themselves is vital. Because it’s not about me and my work. Ultimately, what I do is about your life, and how it goes from the moment I get involved outwards. But it’s all your choices. I’m just the guide. Can you imagine her guiding people. OMFG!

 

15:44

CF
OMG. Here have a match and a bottle of gasoline. Now go outside and play.
That will be her

 

15:44

Nyctophilia Raven
Yeah.. a lot of healers have difficulty learning that lesson – take care of yourself too. In the post, when I said, if you’re hemorrhaging on the battlefield, you don’t try to do surgery on your mates? It’s true… if you’re unbalanced in ANY way, you’ve got NO business working on someone else. NONE. You work when you’re clear, or you don’t work.

 

15:45

SP
“Don’t worry, its ok my life sucks ass i wont rub off on you I PROMISE…” Yeah no.

 

15:45

CF
Mmmhmm! I found that out and now that I’m better and better balanced, the more balanced those around me
Ewww butt germs
lol

 

15:46

Nyctophilia Raven
lol
Exactly my point.

 

15:47

SP
I used to have a burning desire to heal. Always trying to fix things. But in 2010 that burned out for me. It was a baaad year and frankly I don’t give enough of a shiz about humanity . Lol I know I sound awful

 

15:48

Nyctophilia Raven
No, there are times when I don’t give a shit about humanity, dear. It’s why I only heal people. Individuals. Humanity can kiss my ass. If we all wipeout in another yellowstone eruption, it will not be soon enough for me. But until then, I’ve discovered that each individual, taken on a case by case basis, can be coped with in the moment… and let go of when it’s over.

 

15:48

Nyctophilia Raven
That much I can do.
And I think that by doing something for one person, helping one person… I protect hundreds.

 

15:49

SP
Well that’s true I suppose

 

15:49

Nyctophilia Raven
Because people spread the pain, you see.
If you can reach that one person, and mend that ONE thing that’s the worst, sickest part of them, EVEN JUST A LITTLE BIT… that’s one less way they will accidentally hurt others in their lifetime. That’s a little less damage spread out over the entire cesspool.

 

15:50

SP
Yeah I see what you’re saying. I think I lost all my compassion . Maybe that’s it .

 

15:50

CF
I agree. Humanity, don’t really care. Individual souls, yes.
I just want to make a difference in someone’s life like so many have done for me
I will be the glitter herpes of goodness and moonlight xD
*cackles*

 

15:52

SP
Ok wait.. not all. Just certain types. That’s closer to where I’m at.

 

15:52

Nyctophilia Raven
I don’t know that what I’ve got going on is exactly compassion, SP. It’s more… practicality. It’s desperation. It’s… I don’t want to hurt anymore, so I’m doing what I can to make the things that hurt stop hurting, and that stops me from feeling it. It’s not really compassion… it’s horror. And it’s me drawing my little tiny ineffective line in the sand and saying THIS IS SOMETHING I CANNOT BEAR, but I can do this other thing, this one tiny thing, to maybe change it just a tiny bit… and that’s how I feel better about being human, so I do.

 

15:53

SP
That makes sense

 

15:53

Nyctophilia Raven
lol Yeah. There are certain people I have, indeed, decided are beyond my desire to help. They can sit and spin. I actually enjoy watching them suffer. I’m NOT compassionate.

 

15:53

CF
Lol well, they reap what the sow

 

15:54

Nyctophilia Raven
And when they don’t, I speak what I know.

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2 comments on “Healing Responsibly

  1. I have a passion to heal, though I know it’s not my strongest area. I would be more of a combat medic, patch you up enough to get you safely to somewhere you can get proper care. At least for now, I also know what is way beyond my ability to even think to mess with. But there are things I need to know about people, I have a sneaking suspicion about something, but I’ll talk to you in private about it.

    Like

  2. Feel free to drop me a message – I think you have my email. If not, shoot me a message through the store and ask away.

    Like

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